I love Zombies eating brains
Checking your cell phone is the new yawning.
The origin story of "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n' Roses -
Finally, the old man spoke, or rather squawked, in a high-pitched shriek. “DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?” The boys, taken aback, just looked at him. “I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?” Bill Bailey said, “Uh, we’re just trying to get to…” “YOU’RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY!” Bill Bailey — the future W. Axl Rose — just stared at him in wonderment.
I love Zombies eating brains
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“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’” — Steven Wright
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” — Joe E. Lewis
Corrections to Last Month's Letters to Penthouse Forum
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” — Bill Gates
“I used to play sports. Then I realized you can BUY trophies.
Now I’m good at everything!”
— Demetri Martin
