July 2011
2 posts
June 2011
6 posts
“My mother left my father home alone with my twin sister and I once when we were...”
– From: Parents of twins, is it remotely possible you mistakenly mixed up your kids identity while they were young? : AskReddit (via nickdouglas)
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring...”
– Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope (via loltracizzle)
May 2011
43 posts
“With Lady Gaga’s new album and the Oprah finale, it’s a pretty big week for gays...”
– Michael Hartney | someecards.com (via siddman)
Yes, Virginia, you CAN re-enact the raid on Osama... →
mostexerent:
“The hipster movement did not produce artists, but tattoo artists. It did not produce photographers, but snapshot and party photographers. It did not produce painters, but graphic designers. It did not yield a great literature, but it made good use of fonts.”
NY Magazine
Perfection.
Dr. Hilbert: Alright. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated?
Harold: Assassinated?
Dr. Hilbert: One being very unlikely. Ten being expecting it around every corner.
Harold: I have no idea.
Dr. Hilbert: OK, let me rephrase. Are you the king of anything?
Harold: Like what?
Dr. Hilbert: Anything. King of the Lanes at the local bowling alley.
Harold: King of the Lanes?
Dr. Hilbert: King of the Lanes, King of the Trolls,
Harold: King of the Trolls?
Dr. Hilbert: Yes. A clandestine land found underneath your floor boards.?
Harold: No.
Dr. Hilbert: Huh?
Harold: No. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else?
Harold: Like, do I have someone else's arms?
Dr. Hilbert: Well. is it possible at one time that you were made of stone, wood, lye, varied corpse parts? Or earth made holy by rabbinical elders?
Harold: No. Look, look. I'm sorry, but what do these questions have to do with anything?
Dr. Hilbert: Nothing. The only way to find out what story you're in is to determine what stories you're not in. Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's monster, or a golem. Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
Harold: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.
Dr. Hilbert: Good. Do you have magical powers?
Bacon Cam →
jonwithabullet:
watching this forever
The internet is so convenient
katherineanneausten:
what the fuck should i make for dinner
what the fuck should i listen to now
what the fuck should i do today
what the fuck should i do with my life
but…i don’t want to be a beekeeper or run for local office…